Upsetting The ‘Church-Ladies’ (Blog Series)—Part 2: Rehash of Recent Firings & Fomentations As Pastor
In defense of raising a righteous ruckus. Upsetting carnal Christians is a halmark of faithful ministry & not a 'red-flag’ that you’re doing it wrong.
Introduction
In Acts 13:50, Paul has one of the first recorded run-in with a ‘church-lady’ archetype. He was essentially run out of town after upsetting a group of highly influential and “devout” female converts to Judaism. Of course, it was likely their husbands—‘the leading men of the city’—who did the heavy lifting to incite the mob. As John Gill notes, “The Jews applied to these women, and stirred up them to work upon their husbands, who seem to be those next mentioned…” If you’ve ever met a ‘church-lady,’ then you know they can be masterful at manipulating their ‘white-knight’ husbands and pastors, while, at the same time, quite adept at maintaining an angelic appearance as they do the devil’s work.
One of the devilish tactics deployed against Paul was the slandering of his character. In Acts 24:5 the corrupt religious rulers went out of their way to brand him as a rabble-rouser, declaring—“We have found this man to be a troublemaker, stirring up riots among the Jews all over the world.” Sadly, but not surprisingly, it appears some of Paul’s fellow preachers used the same shady tactics.
Driven by jealousy and selfish-ambition, these deceitful Christians sought to stir up additional trouble for Paul while he was in prison (Philippians 1:17)—most likely by defaming Paul as a ‘trouble-maker’ deserving of his chains. According to Barnes’ Notes, “It is possible also that they may have urged that Paul himself had met with a signal reproof [ie. appropriate punishment] for the course which he had taken, and, as a consequence, was now thrown into chains.” In short, these duplicitious preachers kicked Paul when he was down—hoping to discredit his ministry and incite harsher treatment from the prison guards.
Like Paul before me, I’ve been known to occasionally kick over the bee-hive and upset the Queen Bee—and, like Paul, I’ve been branded as a trouble-maker. When I shared that I’d been fired from three churches, and resigned from a fourth—all after upsetting the ‘church-ladies’—the Twitterverse errupted with a common refrain: “You’re the problem!” Mid-Eva pastors, with big ‘church-lady’ approved ministries, came out of the woodworks to denounce me. Even some of my friends and ‘twitter-mutuals’ have wondered out loud how I could get fired three times (including two years in a row).
My first impulse is simply to ask, “Have you read church history?” When it comes to controversy, the Apostle Paul, the Reformers, and the Puritans make me look like Mother Teresa.
John Knox was banned from England after publishing “The First Blast of the Trumpet Against The Monstrous Regiment of Women.” One of the most lauded Christian books ever written—Pilgrim’s Progress—was written from prison by a man who defied the corrupt church of his day. Meanwhile, the Methodist revivalists, having been expelled from the church, preached in the open fields as dung and dead cats were flung at their heads. John Wesley was kicked out of four churches in one week! In light of church history, the real suspicion should fall on pastors who have never been kicked out of a church—or, at least, ruffled the right feathers.
The Apostle Paul refused to be ashamed of his chains—recognizing he was put there for a defense of the gospel. In II Corinthians 11:23-27, Paul sets forth his resume of suffering for the name of Christ, openly “boasting” in all the trouble his ministry has provoked—including imprisonments, beatings, frequent threats of death, brutal whippings, stoning, persecution from his own people, attacks by false brothers, etc. (II Cor. 11:23-27). In Paul’s reasoning—the capacity to raise a righteous ruckus is a halmark of faithful ministry; not a ‘red-flag’ that you’re doing it wrong.
Like Paul—in order to defend my ministry—I want to highlight the consistent pattern in which my ministry has repeatedly drawn the ire of a worldly church corrupted by a deeply entrenched feminist heresy.
To that end, I offer a succinct rehash of the initial three churches where conflict ensued. In all of it, I want to make plain the common thread—that of discharging a plain-vanilla, peaceable ministry which has, nonetheless, upset the ‘church-ladies’ and ended with my head on a platter.
A Summary of Church-Lady Woes
Church One—Rural East Texas (2019)
In October 2018, I stepped down from a full-time ministry (church-plant) to care for my wife, who was in the midst of a major health crisis. Amanda suffered debilitating rheumatoid arthritis effecting 80% of her joints; to the point that she couldn’t walk, and she couldn’t open her mouth to chew food. At her worst, I was dressing her, bathing her, lifting her in and out of the car, and cutting her food up into tiny pieces. At that time, Amanda was also battling chronic and severe gynecological issues, and was extremely anemic, requiring two blood transfusions and two surgeries.
In January 2019, while caring for my very sick wife, I accepted an interim pastorate at a small, rural, traditional Southern Baptist Church in East Texas. A nearby Christian Camp had partnered with them to try and revitalize the church. The camp director served as an elder, the camp staff led worship, and more than half the congregation was affiliated with the camp.
Sometime during my first month, in the course of a couple of sermons, I briefly applied the texts I was preaching to the issues of wokeness, CRT, BLM, and feminism. From that time on, several female congregants (camp staff) in their 20’s and 30’s, began to passive-aggressively protest me. These women steadfastly refused to even look at me while I preached, except to scowl at me, or to roll their eyes in disapproval; opting to stare at their feet, or snicker to each other, for the rest of the time.
You’d think that Christian women—serving in Christian ministry, no less—would go out of their way to show kindness to another woman in the midst of her immense suffering. Instead—out of disdain for me—they went out of their way to avoid my wife; treating her like a stray dog. This was when I first realized just how nasty ‘church-ladies’ could be.
This went on, Sunday after Sunday, for nine months straight. Multiple church members (and regular attenders) corroborated my testimony. During this time, I repeatedly brought this to the attention of the two elders, and they repeatedly dismissed it. When I tried to schedule a sit down with these women, they ducked my calls. When I finally did confront them, they reported me to the elders.
I was subsequently called into an elders’ meeting and told, “It would be EASIER for everyone if you left.” I was then given what was essentially an ultimatum; admit I was wrong in my allegations against these women and apologize—or resign. I resigned. Honestly, I was too exhausted to fight it, and I was trying to shield a sick wife from controversy. The elders offered me a meager two-weeks additional pay (as severance) if I went quietly. Financially, I wasn’t in a position to turn it down. In hindsight, I should have refused to go along with this ‘backroom’ maneuver to push me out—and insisted that we follow the disciplinary process in the church bylaws.
Fast-forward three months—the church voted these two elders out of office, and they asked me to return as their permanent (part-time) pastor. I did, in fact, come back and preach for them, at that time, though I declined the permanent ministry position. I would say I was vindicated in that situation.
Church Two— Florida Panhandle (2021)
In April of 2021, with Amanda in better health, we moved to the Florida Panhandle where I accepted a full-time pastorate at First Baptist Freeport—the most historic church in town. I’ve already written extensively about everything that happened in Freeport (See here, here, here, and here), so I won’t bore everyone with a long rehash of details, but suffice to say, my ministry was stringently opposed, from the start—by the ‘church ladies.’
The backstory here, is that just two weeks into my brand-new pastorate, in a brand-new town, where nobody knew me from Adam, I was bizarrely defamed by the national press for my efforts to help Christian singles find godly spouses. The NY Post reported a false rumor that I used ‘blackface,’ in my marketing, while Relevant Magazine and Podcast both maliciously smeared my project (and, me, by extension) as misogynistic and alt-right extremist.
A group of prominent women, both in the church, and in the community, used all of that internet defamation (while working in tandem with the town Mayor’s openly homosexual partner) to launch a full-scale smear campaign aimed at ruining my reputation and running me out of town. Their online smear campaign was eventually picked up and shared by the ‘Destin In The News’ Facebook page, with 30,000 followers. (They promptly deleted their libelous post after I informed them of their libel, but the damage was done.)
Additionally, one of these disgruntled ‘church ladies’ worked in tandem with a TikTok influencer from outside the community, to produce a series of hit pieces on me, which they then shared all over Facebook. This TikTok influencer shared my cell and the church phone number to her 80k followers. They trashed the church Google Map reviews and bombarded the church office with angry, vulgar messages. The church secretary resigned amidst the mayhem.
At the same time, the “Examining Doug Wilson” gossip rag (more unhinged ‘church-ladies’) made several false, slanderous posts about me and instructed their followers to report me to the FBI. (I did, in fact, receive a visit from an FBI agent during that time—ostensibly for a matter unrelated to me). There were online calls to protest our church and “cause trouble.”
Needless to say, church attendance was decimated, and our church was blacklisted in the community. Despite pastoring the most historic church in town, I went uninvited, two years in a row, to Freeport’s pastor-led day of prayer. I lost count of how many times I was called into meetings with the deacons to be raked over the coals for something that ‘concerned’ or upset the ‘church ladies.’ Six first-time guests informed me that the first time they walked through the front door of the church, a ‘church-lady’ (on staff, no less) was openly ‘bad-mouthing’ me right in front of them. In one of the Women’s Mission Union (WMU) meeting reports, an entire paragraph was dedicated to thinly veiled ‘concerns’ about me.
During this time, Amanda was diagnosed with neuroendocrine tumors and underwent two major surgeries, including a hysterectomy. She lost her womb to cancer, and lost most of her friends in that area due to vicious, unruly ‘church-ladies’ smearing me around town.
I was not fired. I resigned for the sake of my wife’s health and sanity—and because I’d rather live in the desert than constantly contend with the ‘Warring Women’s Union’ (WWU). To give you an idea on the severity of the onslaught and outcry that was leveled against my ministry—after I resigned, this historic 150-year-old church actually changed their name!
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Church Three—South Alabama (2024)
After I resigned from First Baptist Freeport, I tried, for a year, to plant a church in the area. We started meeting outside in a park, and within a few months we had a larger congregation gathered than we had at First Baptist Freeport. Then the whisper-net started up and more than half of our people ghosted on us without so much as a phone call. Then we were booted from two venues, for dubious reasons—both times by women. (Read here). After a year of fighting yet another uphill battle, we made the hard decision to close our doors.
During this time, I accepted an interim pastorate at a small, rural Southern Baptist church in south Alabama. This little church hadn’t had a pastor in over a year, and they were very glad to have me filling the pulpit and shepherding their people. Over the course of months, we established a wonderful rapport. These people showered my wife and I with love, hot meals, fresh vegetables and eggs, and numerous hand-written “Thank You” cards. It was a very healing time for my wife. Their church attendance went up noticeably, and there was a very sweet spirit in this church. Not a Sunday went by that someone in the church didn’t pull me aside and ask me to consider being their full-time pastor.
After about six months as their interim, the pastor search committee invited me to interview for the permanent pastorate. Over the course of the next several weeks, I went through the interview process, including an in-person interview and a handful of phone interviews to answer follow up questions. The search committee voted, unanimously, to bring me before the church for a congregational vote. I received a 98% congregational vote to become the new pastor. We accepted the call.
Roughly six weeks later—before we had even moved into the parsonage—I was fired. The church voted, unanimously, to terminate me as their pastor. They’d barely even taken down the “Welcome” sign. (For a full account, including two interviews on this bizarre turn of events, see here.)
If you want to understand the incredible damage that a couple of ‘church-ladies’ can inflict upon a congregation, consider that a miniscule 2% of this congregation was able to turn everything on its head in a matter of weeks.
In this case, the youth pastor (also serving as a deacon)—by his own admission—began ‘researching’ me after I offended his boomer-feminist wife with a sermon I preached on motherhood (while still interim). By the time I found out, this man and his wife had already had three meetings, behind my back, with the deacons.
I was subsequently brought before the deacon board for yet another struggle session, where I was grilled for over an hour, as this ‘youth pastor’ unloaded a barrage of concerns and accusations. According to the deacon board, I passed with flying colors, and an apology was extended. The disgruntled youth pastor and his wife abruptly resigned their membership the following Sunday, announcing to the entire church that they were leaving on account of me.
Two weeks later, I was fired after this youth pastor and his wife incited half the church to leave if I wasn’t terminated. Critics have tried to put the blame on me, insisting that I should have been upfront about past controversies. Aside from disagreeing with that in principle, it’s an established fact that this search committee did know all about my past controversies before they interviewed me—yet they, themselves, chose not to bring it up. In the course of things, it came to light that my own detailed accounts (blog) had been circulating among members of the church and search committee well before they interviewed me, yet, as one deacon testified (concerning his own wife)—[she] concluded was that I was not the instigator of trouble, but rather the target of a smear campaign. In my final meeting with the deacons, one of them stated emphatically, “I just don’t understand. I am certain God called you to be our pastor.”
None the less, I was promptly fired—offered up as a peace-offering to appease the ‘church ladies.’ The deacon board could barely look me in the eye as they fumbled for words to convey their sheepish apologies, stating they’d never experienced anything like this. As they handed me a severance check, they shook my hand and assured me that if I ever needed a future job reference, they’d be glad to give it.
Some Answers
I read someone, recently, who summarized John Wesley’s ‘test for effective ministry’ as being “whether it both wins followers and provokes enmity.” My online critics, despite having never met me, are quick to claim that *all* I do is cause trouble. To which, I’d simply ask—‘Then how do I keep getting hired?’
The short answer is that, over the course of 25 years, I’ve had a faithful, fruitful pastoral ministry on three continents, which is reflected in my resume, and attested to by my character references.
I’ll add two final points, for consideration:
One: I’ve served as an interim pastor in five different churches—all of which, after a period of 3-6 months under my ministry, have asked me to become their permanent pastor.
Two: In each case where I’ve been fired, or resigned—the protests and opposition occurred within the first two months.
So, which is it? Am I really such an arrogant blowhard—as the sanctimonious mob maintains—that I routinely shoot myself in the foot within the first 60 days? If so, then how do you explain my track record for repeatedly being asked to stay on permanently, when serving as interim?
Allow me to venture an answer: Over the past decade, my convictions on gender and sexuality have matured and ripened in greater conformity to God’s Word; which makes them sweet to the taste for Biblically-informed Believers—but rotten to the bone for worldly professors. Once the ‘Ecclesial Karens’ realize I’m a threat to their feminist rebellion, I’m subsequently branded “the devil incarnate” and summarily cast out.
It reminds of the words of Jesus: “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.”
There’s a growing number of pastors, just like me, who recognize the destructive nature of feminist dogma in the church, and who longed to shepherd modern evangelicals in a more faithful direction—but evangelicals are proving, by and large, to be unwilling. Instead, they gather a great number of J.D. Greears to tickle their itching ears.
Modern evangelicalism has devolved into a co-ed Women’s Guild that recruits, trains, promotes, and promenades nice, tame, politically-correct pastors who never say or do anything to risk being at odds with our hyper-feminist culture—or with the ‘church-ladies’ (but I repeat myself).
Consequently, most modern professing Christians have grown accustomed to milk-toast ministries which pose no threat to the world, the flesh, or the devil. We wonder why we’re getting our butts handed to us by a wicked culture?
The short answer—because evangelical men can’t even say, “NO” to the ‘church-ladies.’
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Coming Up Next
In the next couple of posts, I’ll wade into the weeds and shine some light on the murky waters of my recent firing. Stay tuned as I attempt to debunk the bogus charges leveled against me and unmask a stunning scheme of pharisaical sophistry.